Funny thing I like to think about when I am driving

One time, Gina got a new car. And on the visor it had a note talking about the airbags and warnings that go along with them, etc. She pointed to the visor. "So cool. There is an airbag in there."

Summertime and the livin is easyyy

I don't work during the summer because I'm a teacher.

The past few summers...I wasn't a teacher, but getting a summer job is next to impossible. I always convince myself that I can get one, but I can never lie when the employer asks what my plans are for fall. I tried lying once but I felt so guilty. And I didn't get the job anyway.

So instead of attempting something I know I will fail at, I took on some random projects.

Project #1 transform my parents yard into a beautiful haven where I may one day have my wedding reception.

I told the above to my neighbor, including the last part. She waited excitedly. Then prompted, "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Yes. Here it is: I am a delusional 24 year-old living with my parents, planning my reception before I even begin to seriously date someone. At least that is what her face said. I think it's better this way though. For instance, what if I was dating a dude and gardening and thinking of my reception with him in it? And it didn't work out? Awkward. And tragic. Onto the next project!

Project #2 Tending my nieces. My brother and his wife just had a 4th babe girl. I offered to take the oldest three off their hands whenevs. So that's what I do. I want to get a 7 peaks pass and just take them there every time. They have passes too. 7 peaks is so fun. It's like Disneyland because no matter how old you are, it's a blast.

Project #3 Go to my school at least weekly and work on more projects. Like planning better lessons. I have an impeccable (I just had to look up that word) talent for winging it. I can really tell a difference from getting the job so close to the school year last year and getting a whole summer to plan for this coming school year. These kids better be worth it. JK. But kind of.

Project #4 Organize my music and delete songs I always skip. This is actually really monotonous. I have 41 gigs of music and my iPod is 32 gigs. Plus movies. Hard to sift through. Can anyone relate? Some of this music hasn't even been heard by my ears.

Project #5 Not eat food that is bad.

Project #6 Have lots of parties and events. I want to go to Lagoon. and hike Timp. and of course Harry Potter. My ex-boyfriend asked me to go with him to the midnight showing way back on my birthday. Best birthday gift idea if you can't think of upcoming bday gifts.

There you have it. Six Summer S... can't think of an S word. Other than the swear word.

On the last day of School

I sang this song with my guitar to my dear children.



They sang along and we all got a little emotional. I hope they don't let anyone tell them they can't do what they want to. I miss them so much!

Attempted Pup Murder

There's a dog in my neighborhood. Looks like this one. It has instinctively killed fourteen chickens and laid them in a row without a feather lost. Kind to humans and children, we thought it could make friends with our little shih tzu pup, Dash.

Here he is with his pretty-boy friends:



And that German Shorthair did accept Dash as his friend. In his own way. Luckily he didn't kill dash like it looked like he was doing. If he wanted to, he could have crushed Dasher's ribs with one false munch. And luckily I was there to pull Dash out of what seemed to be murder. As I dove to capture the fleeing pup, I broke my toe. Dash was unharmed and has a positive attitude about his new friend.

Was my broken toe worth saving my pup? yes.
Does my toe hurt? Indeed.
Does school end in exactly 3 days from this moment? HECK YEAH!!!!

And I thought it was going to be just another Friday...

My kids threw me a surprise dance party when I came into the classroom from lunch. I have the most amazing class in the universe. I was genuinely surprised! How great is that?






they even dressed Bellatrix, our bearded dragon, for the occasion.

Doc Camera

If I were a hair stylist, this would be like the invention of a comb. If I were a doctor, this would be like bringing in anesthetics. If I were an olympian this would be my gold medal.



I just put a piece of paper under there and the kids see a giant monster of an image. I put an object under there that I don't want to pass around, BAM, it's on the wall enlarged for all to enjoy simultaneously.

I love my doc cam more than I love my students.

hiiiiiiii

Hi.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while and all you have to look at is the vomit post.

I just have a pretty ordinary life lately and when something cool happens I just share it with people instead of write about it. And when you blog about something you've shared to people that read your blog, there's no point. That's the issue here, repeated sharing. No one likes to be friends with that person that constantly shares the stories to so many people that you have heard it multiple times. And you thought you were the special one, and that they only told it to you!

I still live with my parents. People may wonder if I ever get out or if I just get out with my parents. The answer is: both. For instance, tonight. My parents invited me to go to dinner and a movie with them and my aunt and uncle. Sometimes I accept, sometimes I have something else going on. Tonight, I have other plans. I am going with a group of buddies to DI to get disco clothing and then to classic skating. It will be really fun to just dress up and let go!

At this time of the school year, I realized that I had sick days and vacation days that I haven't used: a total of 5 days! So I am planning two trips. One to San Diego, and one to Florida. In two weeks I'm off to Orlando where I will be united with Harry Potter World!!!! I have an entire week for spring break and I hope that's enough time for Harry.

Then in May I'll be in San Diego to visit my BFF Katherine! Now I just have to figure out my summer...I don't have any trips planned and it's unsettling. I'll probably take a bunch of teacher classes so I can get paid more or something boring like that. Maybe move out of my parents?

Next time I write on here it won't be from my dad's desktop computer in his messy upstairs office. It will be from the new 13" MACBOOK PRO!!!! It's on it's way to me now. I have purchased this particular laptop 3 times this week. The first time was online at apple.com. Then I cancelled the order because Katherine said I could get it cheaper at BYU. The second was through BYU. They said I had to be a student. Then finally I went online to apple.com again, but this time through my teacher website and I got one for $100 off! Boo BYU, thanks for the diploma though.

Did you know they sell MacBook Pros in 24-carat gold? Yeah. and the apple is filled with diamonds.

Speaking of diploma, BYU thinks I am graduating in April again. They sent me a graduation package and notified me of all the events coming up. Silly BYU. I guess you can give me another degree, could it please be a master's? Thanks.

Beastly

This Friday I went to see the movie Beastly. It's more of a dollar-movie or rental-worthy so wait on it.

I had been feeling pretty queasy the whole movie...I couldn't decide if it was the actor's face or what. Well, on the drive home, I knew it was time. To vomit.

As we were waiting for the green arrow to turn left off University by Riverwoods, I told Ray I was going to vomit. That is usually something my friends and I joke about, so his response was "Are you serious?"
"Yes."
He asked if I wanted him to drive. While we were switching, I started throwing up. A car pulled behind mine and the arrow turned green. Between vomits I motioned for them to go around us. So embarrassing. By the time I was finished, the arrow was green again and I left quite a puddle in the middle of the road. I just really hope I didn't cause a chain reaction with surrounding sympathetic vomiters. And I hope no one really noticed me. But how could they not notice a chick at midnight vomiting in the middle of a huge intersection?

V-day from the parentals

I walked in my house today after work only to find piles of v-day gifts for my neices and nephews. "Where's my valentine's gift?"
Mom: "What if I didn't get you anything?"
Me, in my head: "typical. always putting grandkids first."

1 hour later my dad came downstairs with two large boxes.
Before he handed them to us, he explained that one of the boxes had two of the same thing, one for me and one for mom.
"Bras?" I asked
His response was an irreplacable facial expression of disgust.
He said that one of the boxes was for my brother and the other gift was two of a similar thing.
"So not romantic" I pointed out.
My mom opened the smaller of the two boxes. It did look like bras at first because they were shiny. But it turned out to be two pair of decent slippers.
We started to try them on to see if they fit.
"I got them from D.I." Dad remarked.
The emotion in the room turned sour. These slippers had comforted another pair of feet, not my own.
After observing our negative response, my dad pointed to the bottoms of the slippers: "Look! She never wore them! These are brand new!"
I think the lady that owned them was probably para or quadriplegic and in a wheelchair.
But when I think about it, I wouldn't want anything else for valentine's day. Thanks Dad, love you too.

G-U-I-T-A-R

A couple weeks ago I gave my students a spelling test. One of the words was "guitar." I usually give a sentence using the word as I give the test. The sentence I used was: "Guitar. I am attracted to men that play guitar. Guitar."
They giggled and it was just a silly moment of fun.

Well one of the aides at my school (we'll call Mr. Carson) helps in my classroom on Friday afternoons.
(I overheard him say he was engaged.) He comes in and automatically my students attack him with the anticipated question brought about from the spelling test. "DO YOU PLAY GUITAR???"

Mr. Carson: Yes
Class: MISS SHUMWAY!!! HE PLAYS THE GUITAR!!!
Mr. Carson: Students, Mr. Larson is engaged.
Mr. Carson: No I'm not
Me: Oh, well don't you have a girlfriend?
Mr. Carson: No...
Me: (awkward mutters...probably something like "oh...")

For a while I thought he flat out lied to me. Then I found out they broke off their enGAGment.

Half of me wants to say "aren't my kids the worst?" and the other half says "You put this upon yourself." Kill me now.

Isn't this a cool boat?

I go on dates with my parents

Yep. Sometimes more often than you may be comfortable with. Usually it's dinner and a movie. Last weekend we saw "The Dilemma" and went to my favorite restaurant: Malawi's Pizza. Everyone thinks it's too expensive. I say "Cafe Rio is expensive" and they shut up.


In all seriousness, Malawi's Capri Pizza will blow your brains out of your mind. It is made on wheat dough with fresh mozzarella and fresh tomatoes and fresh basil, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic. Drooling on my keyboard as I type. I'm off sugar and white bread so maybe that justifies this blog post?

Already a Gramma

My kids call me "mom" all the time. I'm used to it. But today was different. Today one of them called me Grandma.

Someone kept making a choking sound

while we were typing papers in the computer lab. As you can imagine, it was very annoying. It would come and go in short spurts so I didn't say anything at first. Then I had it.
"That sound is completely unacceptable unless you have that sound in your paper."

He had it in his paper. It was on his rough draft, he showed me.

Anthropologie in the University Mall?

My mom was walking through the Uni-mall round Christmastime.

She was surprised to see an Anthropologie!

Knowing it was my favorite, she walked in and browsed.

Having been to an Anthropologie in the past, she wasn't impressed.

After sharing this with me, I realized she mistook Aeropostale for Anthropologie.

hahahaha I still laugh when I think about it.

Today's highlight: one of my 5th grade boys singing Rihanna's "only girl in the world" nonstop.

Christmas Break & New Year so far

The epic tale I was talking about was when I gave my parents a pup for Christmas. My dad was TIIIICKED to say the least. But somehow, through prayer and faith, he warmed up to the pooch and we got to keep him.

His name is Dasher, like the reindeer. I don't have a picture right now but I'll get around to it sometime haha.

The other hit of my break was New Year's Eve. I had a mash of a bash party!!! It was semi-formal with martinelli's and confetti poppers at midnight. Then of course some boogieing afterward. Thanks to my dad's DI purchase of two huge speakers and lots of cool beautiful people, it was soooo fun. Next year I will be better about arranging so that more people will kiss.

Coming back Monday was weird. 3 of my students had moved out over the break, which was bittersweet.

One of my students gives me a hug every time I get frustrated. She's the only one that can tell. Once she said "If you were a candy bar, I'd be a fun-size!" I was a little offended, taking it as a fat joke. But of course she meant well so I told her how clever she was. How dare she.

Speaking of which, I joined Gold's Gym. I don't do gyms. But I don't really have a choice do I? I love food but I hate being overweight. I've tried to give up food. But I can't do it. So I guess I'll just compensate. And compensate I did, my cousin and I went all but two days last week. It feels good to exercise, let's just hope I can bring myself to eat healthy too? No, not yet. Baby steps.

The thing I am most excited about this year is all that will happen that I don't plan on. Those are the things that make life fun and unpredictable. How bout you?

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Chrismast

epic tales to come!

Rube Goldberg

I went to a reception where they had one of these. Then one of my kids shows me this vid during recess:



I love Rube Goldberg Machines, greatest invention of all time.

This week...

I am going to Arizona for Thanksgiving!

And I get to meet the car I've owned for over a month. AND DRIVE HIM HOME WITH ME!!!!


It's a 2000 ford contour (and when you say it out loud it sounds like you are saying "2004 contour haha) I haven't named him yet, suggestions welcome. He's white and I would prefer him to not be but oh well that's not his fault.

Happy Halloween!

My school had Parent-teacher conferences and Friday off. So we all dressed up in our costumes on Wednesday.

I was the wicked witch of the west, AKA "Elphie" AKA I made my kids call me "Miss Wicked" and wouldn't respond to "teacher" or "Miss Shumway."


I acted in character all morning. I whacked each child with my broom, asking them what they were dressed as. I purposely locked the classroom door so that when kids left the classroom (for the restroom usually) they'd be locked out. So I would see them knock and try to get in through the small glass window on the door. And I would point to them and cackle my high witch cackle for a few seconds before I let them in. They loved that. I had a lot of kids wanted to go to the bathroom.

We moved our desks to the side and had a fashion show to techno music. and listened to the "Wicked" sound track all day.