Thursday, July 4

Why I bother going to the 4th Parade

Even on my scooter, it took a half hour to go the 4.6 miles to where my family was sitting.  As the parade started I thought to myself: I enjoy spending time with my family, but...I don't love parades.  What was so great about the parade?  Why didn't I remember this before driving all the way here?
Don't get me wrong, I love the fourth and I love my country and celebrating it in the evening is the BEST!  But yeah, you know what I mean.
Then one of my brothers shouted something.  I laughed.  Oh!  This is why I come!  I pulled up my notepad app.  The things my brothers yell make it entertaining and should be recorded.  So here they are for you!  I hope it's not a "I guess I had to be there" sort of thing, maybe just have that expectation?  Keep in mind these are all shouted at the highest decible they can muster, and the people they are yelling at can always hear them. My brothers are not smiling as they yell these things, they are completely serious.  The parade participant's reaction is half the fun...

Parade quotes: 
Ethan:
Life Elevated float, the first "E" in "Elevated" was curved and looked like a "C"
"YEAH! LIFE CLEAVATED!"

"I FORGOT MY BULL HORN!"
When kids wanted candy from a pickup truck: "You don't want what's in the back of that truck (manure)"

To band:
"PLAY SOME MUSIC ON THOSE!"
"WE KNOW YOU'RE HURTING, IT'S OK!"
"CLENCH YOUR FIST!" "...THANK YOU!"
"SPRAY THEM! THEY'RE VERY SWEATY UP THERE!"
"THAT'S A LITTLE TOO MUCH SASS FOR ME!" (To the color guard shaking their hips)

To pointless office entries and Toyota truck dealer entry: "THANKS FOR YOUR POINTLESS ENTRY!  THANKS FOR MAKING THE PARADE UNNECESSARILY LONG!"



Daron:
Calling the first names of government officials like he knows them "SALLY!? SALLY!"

To air force veteran:
"YOU FLEW THOSE PLANES! YOU FLEW EM!"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT CONGRATULATIONS." 

AFHS had a sign that said "We made it in! Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2014":
"MACEY'S, THE GROCERY STORE?"
"YOU'RE SWEATING. IT'S OK."

In loud royal British accent: "HALE CENTA THEATA!" 

To eagle mountain float:
"I'M GLAD YOUR CURRENT MAYOR ISN'T IN PRISON" (response from Miss Eagle Mountain: stops waving and smiles uncomfortably "...thanks, me too!")

Shawn: "Ryan, you look like a devil with those teeth."