It's just an awkward week.

today I found myself in the middle of saying "Merry Christmas," feeling really awkward, and not remembering what the next holiday was (New Years) so I ended up sounding like this:

"Merry Chrim---uhh...yeah."
5 seconds later
"Happy New Year!"

Close your eyes and envision with me for a sec. I guess you need to keep your eyes open to read, but after you read this post, close your eyes and imagine.

You have been done with school since Thanksgiving break. Since then, you've worked a total of 5 days...so not much going on. Then you got another week of "break" then you don't really know how often you'll be substituting when the "break" ends. So for all I know, I'll be on a break until I get a real job. no offense, substitute office. K now close your eyes and imagine. how crazy. I am going to be. you might say "that sounds nice, a long break. I really need one of those" no, you don't. too much break = broken

deck the halls with gasoline

I have been the runner up three times for teaching jobs.

I just found out about the third one and now this is my status:

Deck the halls with gasoline Falalalalalalalala
Light a match and watch it gleam Falalalalalalalala
Watch the school burn down to ashes Falalalalalalalala
Aren't you glad you played with matches? Falalalalalalalala!

When I sang it to my dad and told him it was my facebook status, his automatic, serious response was: "if the school burns down tonight, you'll be responsible! Your status will be all over the papers"

winning the hearts of the nieces and nephs

Lately I've been trying to be the aunt to my nieces an nephews that I'd want for myself. So I think back to the things I didn't like about my aunts and I have mostly good memories but the only bad memories are them telling me what to do. (as a little one, I like when they tell me what to do now.)

Well it's really hard to not tell a child what to do. Really. difficult. They aren't my kids! but the fact that I have this degree in telling chillens what to do makes it harder.

It actually works though. The less I tell them what to do the more they want to be my friend.

500 days of summer

was even better the second time.

This lady's Christmas decorations made my year

"Good news is that I truly outdid myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down:
"First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.
"Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that.
"My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

Oh come on,

Really?

I drove to highland twice yesterday.
Once for the first interview
back for the second!
one of two candidates.
Exciting, right?
Wow I totally got it, right?

nope.
Want to know how I found out?
An automated email the district sends when they close a job.

The song from wedding singer, "kill me" comes to mind. with replacement words for the swear words of course. don't look it up.

I'm ok. That class had 34 kids in it anyway. I don't want that! plus this gives me OPTIONS to live outside of this place I've lived for decades! So I'm looking into that.

Something to think about.

Is loving someone like making a new horcrux where you split your soul?

Tissue alert, nerd alert

Okay I realize that the only two things I post about are a. my dad or b. schoolish/kids stuff.

But those are the only interesting parts of my life so once I get more interesting things I'll talk about those things too. mmk?

a few years ago, as far as I can remember, there hasn't been a roll of toilet paper in our house. No toilet paper, just the empty metal roller.
A friend that has never been to my house before calls behind the closed bathroom door: "I'm out of toilet paper in here!"
Me: "Just use the kleenex!"
My dad prefers kleenex.
It's cheaper.
It's harder to not go crazy; you'll never use an excess amount of kleenex.
the sound of the swish when the kleenex comes out needs to happen more often.
And I don't know what else.

When we go on vacation, you will find a box of kleenex in his suitcase to use instead of toilet paper in the hotel bathroom. Where there is already toilet paper. so it's beyond the price, surely.
here's the best part: I received the following email today, sent to my family:

subject: Tissue alert!

	Inbox		X

Van Shumway Jr

1:52 PM (3 hours ago)

If you call Craig at Day's Market (375-7960) by 2 pm Saturday, you can order a case of tissues (same as those at our house--160 count per box) for only $1.05 per box. That means your cost per tissue is only 2/3 of a penny. Minimum order is a case of 36 = $37.80 + tax, payable when product arrives in a week or two.

|

Ethan

replied, 4:20 PM (33 minutes ago)

Nerd alert!

wah

My last day was yesterday. ;(
My second graders made me a book that I will treasure for years to come.
Here are a couple excerpts.

This one is from Jacob:

"You were very good at teaching. when ye you read you did it so good. I felt like I was in the story. you are sooo cool.
love,
spencer"

here is the back of his letter:
it says "santa" with an arrow and "the bowl of jelly" pointing to his abdomen. sooo good.


One student wrote using only question marks. Like what he said is even a question. jk lol giggle giggle


They gave me hugs and/or fives on the way out.
Wah.

No update on the job...they are looking at applications right now then interviews later...I just made that up. but I know they were looking at applications yesterday.

But do you realize what position I am in?
I will graduate. on the 18th. no matter what. There is nothing I could or couldn't do to prevent it. besides dying. which is something I've considered. that's a lie.

So I am sitting around today. And if I want I can just sit around the rest of my life! Cool. Great thing to think about. Nah I'll get a job (using my degree) and pay off all my debt. Then I'll spend whatever extra money I make on travel. Then when I decide to actually save money, I will. That's my plan.

cookies left on my doorstep

There was a plate of cookies with a note in my bathroom when I woke up. My dad typed up a label, pasted it to a post-it note, then put the post-it note on the note. It says "Left on doorstep last night. Has male-idiot written all over it." My dad rocks. I found more pleasure in his note than the cookies and the anonymous one-page sweet note. And I knew right off it was not from a male-idiot, i'd recognize that calligraphy handwriting anywhere. my friend roxanne. which makes this even better. because my dad totally dissed my friend.

Love you roxanne, thanks for the anonymous note and cookies.
Love you dad, thanks for looking out for me. For taking the time to type up a label to remind me that I deserve more than male-idiots in my life.

I'm going to literally explode

I threw a popcorn party for my class today. A few hours later, a teacher brought in some popcorn from another activity to share with us. After she left, I gave my popcorn to the classroom teacher (Becky.)

Becky: Don't you want it?
Hallie: If I have any more popcorn I'm going to explode.
My 2nd graders were concerned and asked if I would really explode.
5 minutes later, I walk around looking at the thanksgiving books students are coloring. As I pass Jacob, he explains his addition to the book (The large blue person sitting on the turkey, pictured below)



Hallie: Who is the blue person?
Jacob: It's you, exploding!
Becky came over to see: What's the green stuff, is she sucking the apples with a straw?
Jacob: No, that's the explosion coming out!
I was laughing hysterically, taking pictures with my cell phone. It's my cellphone wallpaper. I am glad I have one more day so today didn't have to be the last.

Update on the job:
You. Reading this. PRAY.
I applied for the fifth grade position yesterday and the principal will be calling in interviews starting next week. PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE IT ALREADY!

the next three days are going to be a never ending interview.

I don't know if this is even going to happen. but I think my principal is on the prowl for a new teacher. And I think I am his #1 victim. He came in while I was teaching a small reading group and he and my classroom teacher were talking about me! Come to find out he was asking when I was getting my teaching certificate and if I would be good in upper grades!! Then he was all "I may just pop in a few times to sit in a some lessons this week" Uhhhh ogkaayyy? I am feeling prepared every day when I teach, so I don't think I am nervous for things in my control. I feel intimidated. And sometimes kids will do stuff and it's like "how do I respond to you?"
But seriously oh my heck. These last three days. I have to be awesome. Because I might get a job here. I am on trial. ah. Stop thinking about it! It would seriously be the best thing ever though.

treasures

A student wouldn't sit in his desk. When asked why, he said: "My desk is haunted"

Teaching a small reading group, one of my favorite little boys that looks like harry potter (NOT daniel, the one I pictured in my head.) had a pink smudge on his glasses. How he even managed to see I don't know. When I pointed it out to him, he said "Oh, that would be yogurt," and let me clean it off for him.

American Girl Magazine

Me: "Someone subscribed me to American Girl."
Dad, as if I accused him: "I did NOT!"

"It sucks to be you right now"

that is what my brother told me yesterday after I told him my plans for the next 3 months. He was joking, but he's got a point.

Here's my plans:

1. stay living with the parents
2. get a job to be a substitute teacher end of this month
3. get a job to be a full time teacher in jan when I get my certificate, if there are even openings. I will leave the county of Utah if I have to! That is a threat!
4. stay living with the parents

The only definite thing...is living with the parentals. The other things...just need to happen please.

I really love my life though! It doesn't suck too bad!

The 150th

I got a letter in the mail congratulating me on being in the top 15% of my graduating class at BYU.

I told my dad.

I asked him if he really thought I was in the top 15%.
"I'm not that smart" I said, walking away.

Shouting after me down the hallway: "Well, if you think about it, say 1,000 people are in your graduating class. You could be the 150th."

(laughing) "You're a jerk, dad." lol he always keeps things from getting to my head.

"Once I smelled sheepskins and felt like I was flying for a second"

Thank you, Jacob, age 7. We were reading a book about beagles and how they like to wear sheepskin sweaters. Then he made this comment. Jacob, you made my day. I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard.

kittens inspired by kittens

My bowl of Special K with Straberries didn't give me any strawberries this morning.

addict

Nasal spray, Cough Syrup, throat spray, and dramamine. Then excedrin in the morning. I love drugs.

I was reading "Teddy Bear" with the cutest little boy in my class.
And I asked him if he had a teddy bear. He didn't. Really? Nothing? Not even a blankey, something you can't go to sleep without?
No.
I was surprised at my response: "It's better to not have one. You don't want to get attached."