A Single Pin on Pinterest gave me a Nightmare

I avoid horror films.  The Ring came out while I was in Junior High, at a time when I wanted to please people the very most.  Still wouldn't see it. I can count on one hand how many scary films I've seen.

OK I'll tell you them:

1. When a Stranger Calls
2. A Stephen King NR film in elementary school, can't remember the title.  I even googled it don't worry.
3. All M. Night Shyamalan: I can put this all on one because they're all pretty subtle
4. What Lies Beneath
5. Arachnophobia
oh yeah, and
6. I am Legend...yikes.

The leading cause of nightmares in my life are from movies.  Every once and a while, maybe every other month I'll have a horrible dream.

Last month I dreamt my sister, Gina, died.  Vivid.  Planned and went to the funeral and everything.  Woke up in tears.  I told my mom.  She said "Well don't tell her.  She is not the right state of mind to hear it."  Hahaha.  I didn't tell her.   I am just so pleased I still have my sister.  She has a very stable mind btw.

Now for what I've been building up to all this time!  I just awoke from a nightmare, brought on by a simple picture I saw on Pinterest!  I didn't even PIN it!!!  Alas, this creature resided in my dreams.

This is the pin.

It's a bear without fur.
Well, in my dream, bears without fur were competing against the human race for the planet.  They had an intellect that surpassed humans, in that they could hear our thoughts.  (Oh no, this has nothing to do with Twilight, I promise...eeee.)  They lived in the mountains and the foothills.  Since my house is in the foothills, I was constantly being hunted and pounced on.  Now close your eyes and imagine what that would look like.

The humans had blow guns and arrows that would put them under.  Or, in my case, I didn't have any weapon so I would punch them in the face.

The dream transferred to something indoors and I ne'er saw or heard from these hairless smartie bears e'er again.

Just thought you should Know...

Whatup 20 followers and random page-viewers (I see the stats, I know there are many of you.)

I am a single 5th grade teacher. It has always been a challenge to meet dudes. Somehow I've been going out on average every other week...sometimes with the same guy, sometimes with randoms.  That is pretty high for Utah County gals, even if you're super hot and fun (That's how it was for me in college...I know, crazy.)

Half the dates I go on are from online dating.  Which is bogus so I cancelled.  I went out with my last online guy twice two weeks ago, and when he called me this week I forgot to call him back.  When I did call him back I said: "Sorry I missed you...yesterday..." And it wasn't yesterday that I missed him.  It was before that.  He didn't call back.  Probably because I'm the worst.

I foresee the lack of online dating taking my numbers down, so I bought the following sticky note pad when I was at J Crew a month ago (They give teachers 15% off btw)

except for "YOU'RE TOO LOUD" it says "YOU'RE CUTE"

Trying to use them...write my number on them even.  They haven't been used since I bought them.  Just hung out there in my purse.  I decided to give two out at institute, which I was successful at.  I almost gave one to someone at a crosswalk today, but he was someone that I knew...who is engaged.  Wouldn't that be amazing?  To give out my number every day I am stopped at the longest light in Provo, watching those smartie BYU men walk to class? I'd be just like a creeper? 

This is way too forward and waaay out of my comfort zone, but I love dudes and I want to just date a lot and kiss a lot and love a lot.  When I find someone who I want to kiss for the rest of my life then I'll be happy I did this. Hopefully.  Probably.

St. Patrick's Day

Every St. Patrick's Day, a glorious thing occurs.

My mother makes a wonderful Irish meal.

Corned Beef (easy to dry out, last night's was perfection!)
Cabbage
Boiled carrots and potatoes
Soda bread with raisins (I don't love raisins, this is an exception)
Dessert:  Green jello pudding cake (not necessarily Irish, but we'll take it!)

I love my mom for this and other wonderful family traditions.

See his face whenever I, I look, at you

A guy I went on a date with last weekend reminded me of someone.  I couldn't think of who!

Today in the school, classroom, workplace: I found myself face-to-face with the reminder date face.  It's one of my kids!  Weirdness!  Even down to the mannerisms and facial expressions.  We're going out again this week...I sometimes let stupid things like that ruin everything.

"I don't think I can go out with you again"
"why not"
Queue Usher: "You remind me of a [student]..."

Spilling

My whole life I have been teased for spilling.  Spilling the gravy for Sunday dinners, missing the cup when I pour a liquid, tipping the cup over while pouring a liquid. (that cup doesn't weigh enough to take this waterfall!)

My mom makes me a smoothie every morning.  A green smoothie.  Ain't she grand?

This morning, I pulled into a parking spot at school and got out of my car, drank in hand.  I slipped.  I looked down.  The cup was tipped and pouring out onto the side of my car where I caught my fall.

Does that happen to anyone else?  When you spill something, you see the source of the spilling and it is your hand!  It is as if you have no control; how did your hand get to that angle?  Happens to me all the time.  Maybe that is what paralyzed people feel like.

I just walked away.  Didn't even look back at my car.  I hope it snows some more.  Cover that big ol smoothie splatter.

"I Like Cats"

Sometimes, when I say something I want to take back, and the conversation turns into something I don't want it to be, (this happens quite often.) I will simply insert "I Like Cats" and the conversation is dropped. Everyone gets confused.  Then we can talk about something else that I don't hate as much.

Crickets

I got a new baby lizard.  She is adordable.

On my way home from school yesterday, I bought baby crickets so my baby lizard can eat and entertain.

Those crickets died on the way to work since my car was 0 degrees.  All of them were huddled together, belly up.  So sad. 

But I believe in miracles, so I put their cage in my lizard's tank to warm them up.  Put the heat lamp right over them.  One at a time, I saw the widdle crickets jump back to life!  By the time the kids were seated, every cricket, excepting a few, were all alive again!  We looked up this phenomenon via the world wide web and saw it was a normal occurance, and the crickets were simply in a state of paralysis and hibernation because they are cold-blooded.

That was just the beginning of my troubles.  We gathered around a large box to watch the little Sandy lizard eat her first batch of baby crickets.  I wanted to model how to appropriately sprinkle the vitamin powder, and in the process I clumsily knocked the cage of 64 resurrected crickets onto the floor.  Out of the ajar lid, the nearly invisible crickets popped out, here and there, jumping away from their fate.  I had all 25 children surround the area and catch any tiny crickets they could get a hold of.  We captured all of them - I think... 

Sandy enjoyed pouncing and chomping her delicious protein and seems content.  I hope the crickets that got away do not reproduce.  Icky.  

The Year is Dying... & Bucket List

New Years Resolutions were written up today.  I remembered my Bucket List (listed below) and looked at last year's post about New Years Resolutions and realized why I still have a swearing problem. I can mark off another thing: I've visited Europe and Asia!  But nothing else :( I need to get crackalacking on this listalisting.   I guess if I got really detailed, visiting Europe and Asia would mark off dozens of things, like all the places and things I saw and ate!  I am currently working on re-writing a Europe Journal since I lost mine 2 days before I came home.  Still bitter.

Go skydiving
Get Married
Have Children
Visit South America and Africa
punch someone in the face
dissect more animals
eat shark
Have debt no more than one year at a time
have a garden every year
Hike a volcano
Helicopter ride
Death Valley
Niagra Falls
Maine crab legs and lighthouse
Eat at a five star restaurant yearly
Make a five star-worthy meal and dress all fancy and eat it
Weigh no more than I do now unless I have a child inside of me
Participate in a triathlon
Be on a talk show
Create art at least once a year
Learn to play guitar really really well
Take voice lessons
Meet the prophet
Be the general relief society president
Get a masters and PhD
Watch the sun rise and set in one day on a south or north facing beach
Go back to New Zealand
Do as much genealogy as possible
Serve a senior mission
Give high fives to strangers...often
Write a book or publish an article
Hot-air balloon across the country
See the northern lights
fly first class
SLC underground tunnels
BYU underground tunnels
Go to a movie by my lonesome
7 world wonders 
Parachuting
Paragliding
Ice climbing
Make snowboarding or skiing a hobby
Visit every temple in Utah and wherever I travel

kiss a stranger
go to New Zealand
go to Australia
bungy jump
zorbing
shotover jet
horseback ride through lord of the rings forest
cruise to mexico
cruise through fjords
New York
Eat at all the best places in New York
Harry Potter World
DisneyWorld
DisneyLand
DisneyLand Paris
Watch 6 movies in one day
Europe
(Eur)Asia


My main resolution is to be present wherever I am.  I'm not trying to be deep here, I mean temporally in the room I am sitting now, or the church meeting I go to, or the annoying bridal shower for the girl I don't care about.  (I hate bridal and baby showers, if I've gone to yours, please feel very loved.)  Not look at my phone, not be bored, not ignore people, not allow myself to find a way to leave as soon as possible.  Just BE there.  And be 100% there.  It's always been a struggle to enjoy where I'm at.  When I do get to leave, I find myself wanting to be done with the next thing.  So I will just back up one step and love where I'm at!

Christmas Songs

Instead of listening in church, I decided to read Christmas hymns and think about what they mean.  I've never thought of the lyrics in Christmas songs.  Unless it is "Last Christmas" or "All I want for Christmas."  Because those are extremely relatable, right?

When I got to "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" it was like reading my mind.  We hear the "old familiar carols," these "unbroken songs" that are seemingly mocked by pop singers, sung without reverence, jingled over and over, the meaning lost. But the last two verses are like: "Nuh uh!" and that was a nice punch in the face.  This song is definitely relatable.

My dad hates "Mary, Did you Know?"
Whenever it comes on the radio, he lets them sing the first line and calls out: "YES!  She did know!" then switches it.

So funny.  I bet you'll have a hard time forgetting that!

1. 1. I heard the bells on Christmas day
   Their old familiar carols play,
   And wild and sweet the words repeat
   Of peace on earth, good will to men.
2. 2. I thought how, as the day had come,
   The belfries of all Christendom
   Had rolled along th'unbroken song
   Of peace on earth, good will to men.
3. 3. And in despair I bowed my head:
   "There is no peace on earth," I said,
   "For hate is strong and mocks the song
   Of peace on earth, good will to men."
4. 4. Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
   "God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
   The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
   With peace on earth, good will to men."
5. 5. Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
   The world revolved from night to day,
   A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
   Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Teacher, do you love me?

Driving to school today, I saw a large flag off the freeway at half staff because of the tragedy in Connecticut.

Yesterday in Relief Society, the teacher played this beautiful primary song. (click here to listen) Tears immediately began flowing within the first line of the song.  There was so much in my heart at that moment.  Realizing how difficult some of my kids are, they still need to know I care.  They have the need to be reassured and loved despite how hard they make it for me to do so.  I hope they feel that.  The loved part, not how difficult it is.

Children are so precious.  I feel the weight of my responsibility to not only teach but to show I care and accept them.  This song encompasses every emotion I feel right now.  I listened to this song on the way to work today, and I think I want to make it a daily thing.

Just listen to the song.  You'll know what I mean.

Thought Process of Watching Recordings

It's hard being single and having all your favorite shows air on Sunday night.  I'm talking about Revenge, Once Upon a Time, and Mentalist.

Sunday is the busiest day for a single lass.

Ya wake up around 10:30.  Sometimes the parents are skipping out on Sunday school and chillin downstairs, sometimes they are still at church.

You know what that means?

It means I have the house to myself.  The ONLY time I have the house to myself the whole week.    How pathetic is that?  Pretty.  Besides their occasional date night with Aunt Sabrina and Uncle Daron.  And one of them comes home at least 3 out of 4 Sundays a month.

Then there's church, a mix and mingle or a break the fast, and family dinner with all the nieces and nephews.  Afterwards I usually split and go to ward prayer and then a thing after.  By the time I get home, there is no time for my shows.

Monday is worse, it's a MONDAY and there is FHE.

So by the time I get to the shows, I have my other favorite shows on the DVR as well: Parks and Rec and New Girl.

Last Friday night I turned down some get-togethers because all I wanted was to watch my shows.

I thought to myself: "Why did I used to have time to watch these shows night-of?"
Because I didn't exercise back then.

Moral of this story?
EXERCISE RUINS EVERYTHING.

Twitter

I recently re-aquainted myself with twitter. I have always thought it was the lamest thing ever, until my friend told me it was her alternate universe.  She used it to read up on her interests.  So I typed in all my hobbies and people I don't hate, following whatever struck my fancy.

I really like twitter now.  I can't get enough!  Everything is so interesting and I don't have to read crap I hate, like on facebook.  I get to stay up-to-date on all things and only the things I care about.

Plus, I am super bad at staying up on current events.  I can't concentrate with a newspaper for long enough to go to B4 and read the rest of the article!  Or when I see my scroll has gone down to the size of a pencil eraser?  Nightmare!  I like the simple, 140 character limit to tell me what happened and where.  For example, New York was crime free for more than 36 hours between Sunday and Tuesday.  So of course I'll click on the link and read about it!  (For as long as I could handle it, the scroller was teensy.)

My least favorite person I'm following is @justinbieber.  He is so vague.  His recent tweet was: "Toronto I'm bringing surprises" - No punctuation.  And he sounds like a creeper!  Maybe my recent dislike for his latest album and how it clearly showed he's not as pure and innocent as he was in his other albums.

I am not really following people I know yet...don't want to turn it into a facebook.  But you're welcome to follow me! @halshum.

The Skinny Rules

A week ago Sunday night I asked my sisters (who are all naturally skinny and have been their whole lives) how they do it.  One sister pulled up this pin on pinterest.  She says she hasn't ever thought about it, but these are pretty much the rules she lives by.  I have been trying this for about a week now and I don't hate it!  We'll see if my genetics and obsession with food will allow it... probably not.  But worth a try!?

Double Copper

Guess how many times I've been pulled over before this month?

Twice.

Guess how many times I've been pulled over this month alone?

TWICE!

The second Sunday of August was a relaxing day.  After a stake meeting, passing notes with a babe of a dude, I decided to make oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies (DONT add flour like the comments suggest on this recipe) The guy I passed notes with had my iPod Touch and demanded cookies in exchange for it.

Naturally, I made double cookies and delivered to people that helped me move.  By the time I started back home, it was dark.  I turned a corner to go up a swirly hill with rumbly tumbly lines on the road.  I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed someone was tailing me!  I didn't think I cut anyone off, but I guess I did.  And they seemed ticked (even though I couldn't see anything.)  So I sped up to get away and disregarded the rumblies and lines on the road and drove as straight as possible.

When I turned again, BAM!  The person behind me put on their lights.  They were a COP!  All along!

I was shocked.  So shocked that I didn't move, just in case he thought I was getting a gun.  (I have my concealed weapons permit but no weapon.)  I rolled down my window and began to explain how sorry I was and that I thought he was tailing me.  He asked for my license and registration, the latter I couldn't find because of all the papers in my glove box.  He asked where I was coming from and I said to take cookies to a friend, then offered one to him...ha.

He asked if I was drunk.
 I said he could do a drinking test but I assured him I was not drunk.  (He flashed my pupils with his flashlight)

He was off to his car to "look me up"

When he came back he informed me that it was my lucky day and he was letting me off.  Then he began his lecture of how he should have towed me for wreckless driving and drunk driving.  Heaven forbid a cop let me off NICELY.  But Phew, right?  Phew.

I wonder what they see when they look people up?  Do they see I am a teacher?  I know they see the accident/violation history...But I hope they see I am contributing to the community in some way.

Welp, it doesn't end there.  Yesterday I got pulled over by a hiding motorcycle cop!  He just popped outta no where!  I was going 14 over because people were waiting for a car to turn left going the other direction so I wanted to get out of their way.  The stupid thing was my natural instinct to turn off my car and UNbuckle my seatbelt while the cop was approaching!  When he pointed out that he heard a click as he was walking up, I told him I was an idiot and unbuckled after he pulled me over.  "You're not an idiot, but that's not the smartest thing to do."  He said.  DOIEE!

He let the seatbelt part go, but put me down for going 5 over, how kind.

Paris

June 6

Flew into Charles De Gal 

6 flights of stairs to the apartment room

Figuring out phone for Elizabeth

coming back 3 times to same phone place

Notre Dame pictures outside

Meeting Lauren, Elizabeth's friend

Eating Italian then gelatto

Got baguettes and pastries and quiche for the next day at a local patisserie

June 7

Louvre

Nike of Samothrace , greek sculpture

Venus de Milo – greek sculpture garden, alexandro of antioch

Oath of the Horatii, Jacques-Louis David

Egyptian

Leonardo da Vinci Virgin of the Rocks,

Liberty Leading the People Delacroix

Théodore Géricault, The Raft of the Medusa

Peter Paul Rubens

Marie de' Medici cycle

Johannes Vermeer

Water Lilies, Monet

monet

Spanish painting, Infanta Maria Margareta, Velázquez, 1655

Mona lisa

Van gogh

RENOIR

Picasso

French romantic sculptures

All the Davids

Cassatt

Degas

Tuilleries

Arch de Triumph

Dinner and gelato and latin quarter with Lauren and friends

River cruise

Climbing eiffle tower

Signed name

Walking around looking for Maudey’s restaurant, didn’t find till 12, ate at café

Escargo and steak

June 8

Sacre Coure./Montmontre

Art

Maudey

Rodin Museum gardens, “The Kiss” & “the thinker”

Café Constant

Meeting Christian Constant

Muse D’Orsey

Muse De O’rsay

Cezanne

Renoir

Manet

Monet

Seurat

Cassatt

Degas

Pub with Lauren and friends

June 9

E in Belgium

Sant Chapelle

Top of Notre Dame

Crème Brulee and Crepe

Cheese samples

Bus tour at night

“Bonsua”

E being in room 

June 10

Versailles with Maudey

Cheese on train on the way

Renting golf cart

Marie Antoinette’s Trianon and Hamlet

Angelina’s chocolate

Scarf

Seeing Elizabeth 

Palace

Crepes at Montmontre

Dinner mix-up at Les Tablettes

Korean by my hotel

June 11

Disneyland with Juliet

June12 

Muse D’Orsey with Maudey

More Degas and Cassatt 

Tried Falafel, carrot juice

Gelato 

Back to Versailles to get scarf

Bus

Angelina’s

Hamlet

7 course meal at Les Tablettes

June 13

Rented fiat – stick shift

Day trip to Mont Saint Michele – castle on island, night tide

surrounds

On the way: Rouen Cathedral painted by Monet several times

Beautiful scenery

Elizabeth driving

Savory Crepe restaurant...not amazing and tons of flies

Took a bus to island

Walked around

Church at top with view

Restroom

Drive back – gas and bathroom

Grocery store

Beef tartar

June 14

Notre Dame inside

Fly to Athens

I want a Fiat.

This just happened

And now all my wildest dreams will come true.

I'm going to Paris
Then on a Mediterranean cruise (Greece, Turkey, Places the apostle Paul visited)
Then to Italy
Then to the UK

All this was decided and executed within the past 5 days.  Ha!  Come with!  Or live through me.

I don't know who wrote this, but my sentiments exactly.

Spotlight student ?s

We have a student spotlight every week.  These are some of the questions the class asks the student:

"Who is your favorite SUPER villain?"
"How many horses would you say you have met in your whole entire life?"
"Who is your favorite SUPER HERO?"
Someone blurted: "George Lopez!"
Spotlight: "I HATE George Lopez"
"When was the first time you tasted FOOD?"
Couldn't stop laughing

Mowing the lawn

I love to mow the lawn.  When I was a teenager I used to sign my name...and maybe sometimes my crush's name...then mow around that.  Or make designs.  Nowadays I try and mow differently each time.  Maybe stick with the curve of the garden or deck instead of just the boring straight lines.  It clears my head.  It is like art for me, making something more beautiful.  It is good for me: to think about life and being hard at work...and get chased by wasps and stuff.

I listen to pandora and sometimes I have to b-line back towards the house to pick up the wifi again.  If only I could like running as much as I like mowing the lawn!