Sunday, October 4

Conferencial Cousin Times

My parents are out of town, my aunt is out of town, and my cousins are in town. So we took over my aunt's vacant house and watched conference. I'll list the 7 things I never want to forget about conference this year.

1. When I arrived, I saw 4 cousins and 2 people I had never seen before. I didn't know at the time, but one of those randoms was a recent convert, we'll call her Janice, and this was her first conference experience. Let's just say I ruined it for her. Probably made her leave the church. Here's why, a, b, and c:

a. During the first talk I tripped over something and started to say the d word but saved myself. Sounded something like "DAmdangit!"

b. A half hour into the first session an asian lady began speaking and half the people left the room for a snack.
me: "Just cuz she's asian guys, come ON!"
cousin 1 (female even): "No it's because she's a woman." Typical.
This was about the time Janice left the room. I didn't notice she left until later.
She came back after the session dressed up to go to the afternoon session by herself. As she was waiting for my cousin to get ready to drive her...

c. (K before I tell you what I did let me remind you how difficult it is for someone like me to sit through two hours of conference.)
I located a target: the light switch. Then I began punching, kicking at, and pretending to destroy this light switch. My cousins passed it off as normal for me, so I looked to see a fresh reaction. It's Janice, looking at me with a hint of horror but mostly disgust. When my cousin called to ask if she wanted to go to dinner/movie later, I don't know what Janice told her. But my cousin had to break away from us to hang out with her alone. DAmdangit.

2. Setting: Cousin 1 handing cousin 2 a piece of candy
Cousin 2: "I don't like that candy it's gross!"
Cousin 1: "You're gross!"
all cousins in unison: "Your mom's gross!" (funny because their mom is my aunt. so we are dissing our aunt.)

3. At half time, between the sessions, 8 cousins piled into a mini van and drove to the local grocery store. When we arrived, I spotted a cart with a toy car attached. I ran to it and managed (don't ask how) to get in. My cousin with a cast/boot on her foot hopped into the main cart. One cousin pushed us and the rest followed. We spent most our time browsing the drugs section. Eye drops...

4. As I write notes during conference, if I don't pay attention to a speaker, i write their name and put a "repeat" sign next to it, like one used in sheet music (:) Gina decided that was a brilliant idea and picked it up. A man stood up to speak (Kent Watson) and after only a few seconds Gina wrote a ":" and walked out.

5. President Packer, if you noticed, spoke from a chair.
I thought out loud: "He's next."
Cousins: "HALLIE!"

6. Cousin 3: What does "Balm of Gilead" mean?
Cousin 4: "It's like chapstick for your soul"

7. And my favorite. Alyson had the worst time staying awake. So she did these movements to keep herself awake. I loved nothing more than to catch a movement out of the corner of my eye and glancing over, only to see her swaying her arms, rolling her head around, or rocking back and forth. Like she was mental or something. Oh man good times.


Alyson Cowley said...

I just love how all of the cousins who participated in this remain anonymously named as cousin #whatever, but I definitely am named in number 7. It's's true. I did do that.

Raymon said...

I am in love with you family.

Elissa Stewart said...

Just to let you know *Janice was not offended by anything you did or said. I promise she did not leave the room because of you. Promise promise pinky promise. And I am sad that I wasn't able to spend every waking minute of this weekend with you. I'm glad we're family though. My favorite conference memory was of you trying to unload the sticky bun brain gut yumminess. That was a sight for sore eyes.

Holley said...

i love you hallie you are halarious

Miss Gina said...

I am laughing so hard right now.

Tawny Crane said...

Pretty much I got up and did something during the female speaker too :0 and lydon said: what are you doing, ME: Meh its a girl. Gald to know I am not the only one.