Beastly

This Friday I went to see the movie Beastly. It's more of a dollar-movie or rental-worthy so wait on it.

I had been feeling pretty queasy the whole movie...I couldn't decide if it was the actor's face or what. Well, on the drive home, I knew it was time. To vomit.

As we were waiting for the green arrow to turn left off University by Riverwoods, I told Ray I was going to vomit. That is usually something my friends and I joke about, so his response was "Are you serious?"
"Yes."
He asked if I wanted him to drive. While we were switching, I started throwing up. A car pulled behind mine and the arrow turned green. Between vomits I motioned for them to go around us. So embarrassing. By the time I was finished, the arrow was green again and I left quite a puddle in the middle of the road. I just really hope I didn't cause a chain reaction with surrounding sympathetic vomiters. And I hope no one really noticed me. But how could they not notice a chick at midnight vomiting in the middle of a huge intersection?

V-day from the parentals

I walked in my house today after work only to find piles of v-day gifts for my neices and nephews. "Where's my valentine's gift?"
Mom: "What if I didn't get you anything?"
Me, in my head: "typical. always putting grandkids first."

1 hour later my dad came downstairs with two large boxes.
Before he handed them to us, he explained that one of the boxes had two of the same thing, one for me and one for mom.
"Bras?" I asked
His response was an irreplacable facial expression of disgust.
He said that one of the boxes was for my brother and the other gift was two of a similar thing.
"So not romantic" I pointed out.
My mom opened the smaller of the two boxes. It did look like bras at first because they were shiny. But it turned out to be two pair of decent slippers.
We started to try them on to see if they fit.
"I got them from D.I." Dad remarked.
The emotion in the room turned sour. These slippers had comforted another pair of feet, not my own.
After observing our negative response, my dad pointed to the bottoms of the slippers: "Look! She never wore them! These are brand new!"
I think the lady that owned them was probably para or quadriplegic and in a wheelchair.
But when I think about it, I wouldn't want anything else for valentine's day. Thanks Dad, love you too.

G-U-I-T-A-R

A couple weeks ago I gave my students a spelling test. One of the words was "guitar." I usually give a sentence using the word as I give the test. The sentence I used was: "Guitar. I am attracted to men that play guitar. Guitar."
They giggled and it was just a silly moment of fun.

Well one of the aides at my school (we'll call Mr. Carson) helps in my classroom on Friday afternoons.
(I overheard him say he was engaged.) He comes in and automatically my students attack him with the anticipated question brought about from the spelling test. "DO YOU PLAY GUITAR???"

Mr. Carson: Yes
Class: MISS SHUMWAY!!! HE PLAYS THE GUITAR!!!
Mr. Carson: Students, Mr. Larson is engaged.
Mr. Carson: No I'm not
Me: Oh, well don't you have a girlfriend?
Mr. Carson: No...
Me: (awkward mutters...probably something like "oh...")

For a while I thought he flat out lied to me. Then I found out they broke off their enGAGment.

Half of me wants to say "aren't my kids the worst?" and the other half says "You put this upon yourself." Kill me now.

Isn't this a cool boat?

I go on dates with my parents

Yep. Sometimes more often than you may be comfortable with. Usually it's dinner and a movie. Last weekend we saw "The Dilemma" and went to my favorite restaurant: Malawi's Pizza. Everyone thinks it's too expensive. I say "Cafe Rio is expensive" and they shut up.


In all seriousness, Malawi's Capri Pizza will blow your brains out of your mind. It is made on wheat dough with fresh mozzarella and fresh tomatoes and fresh basil, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic. Drooling on my keyboard as I type. I'm off sugar and white bread so maybe that justifies this blog post?

Already a Gramma

My kids call me "mom" all the time. I'm used to it. But today was different. Today one of them called me Grandma.

Someone kept making a choking sound

while we were typing papers in the computer lab. As you can imagine, it was very annoying. It would come and go in short spurts so I didn't say anything at first. Then I had it.
"That sound is completely unacceptable unless you have that sound in your paper."

He had it in his paper. It was on his rough draft, he showed me.

Anthropologie in the University Mall?

My mom was walking through the Uni-mall round Christmastime.

She was surprised to see an Anthropologie!

Knowing it was my favorite, she walked in and browsed.

Having been to an Anthropologie in the past, she wasn't impressed.

After sharing this with me, I realized she mistook Aeropostale for Anthropologie.

hahahaha I still laugh when I think about it.

Today's highlight: one of my 5th grade boys singing Rihanna's "only girl in the world" nonstop.

Christmas Break & New Year so far

The epic tale I was talking about was when I gave my parents a pup for Christmas. My dad was TIIIICKED to say the least. But somehow, through prayer and faith, he warmed up to the pooch and we got to keep him.

His name is Dasher, like the reindeer. I don't have a picture right now but I'll get around to it sometime haha.

The other hit of my break was New Year's Eve. I had a mash of a bash party!!! It was semi-formal with martinelli's and confetti poppers at midnight. Then of course some boogieing afterward. Thanks to my dad's DI purchase of two huge speakers and lots of cool beautiful people, it was soooo fun. Next year I will be better about arranging so that more people will kiss.

Coming back Monday was weird. 3 of my students had moved out over the break, which was bittersweet.

One of my students gives me a hug every time I get frustrated. She's the only one that can tell. Once she said "If you were a candy bar, I'd be a fun-size!" I was a little offended, taking it as a fat joke. But of course she meant well so I told her how clever she was. How dare she.

Speaking of which, I joined Gold's Gym. I don't do gyms. But I don't really have a choice do I? I love food but I hate being overweight. I've tried to give up food. But I can't do it. So I guess I'll just compensate. And compensate I did, my cousin and I went all but two days last week. It feels good to exercise, let's just hope I can bring myself to eat healthy too? No, not yet. Baby steps.

The thing I am most excited about this year is all that will happen that I don't plan on. Those are the things that make life fun and unpredictable. How bout you?

Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Chrismast

epic tales to come!

Rube Goldberg

I went to a reception where they had one of these. Then one of my kids shows me this vid during recess:



I love Rube Goldberg Machines, greatest invention of all time.

This week...

I am going to Arizona for Thanksgiving!

And I get to meet the car I've owned for over a month. AND DRIVE HIM HOME WITH ME!!!!


It's a 2000 ford contour (and when you say it out loud it sounds like you are saying "2004 contour haha) I haven't named him yet, suggestions welcome. He's white and I would prefer him to not be but oh well that's not his fault.

Happy Halloween!

My school had Parent-teacher conferences and Friday off. So we all dressed up in our costumes on Wednesday.

I was the wicked witch of the west, AKA "Elphie" AKA I made my kids call me "Miss Wicked" and wouldn't respond to "teacher" or "Miss Shumway."


I acted in character all morning. I whacked each child with my broom, asking them what they were dressed as. I purposely locked the classroom door so that when kids left the classroom (for the restroom usually) they'd be locked out. So I would see them knock and try to get in through the small glass window on the door. And I would point to them and cackle my high witch cackle for a few seconds before I let them in. They loved that. I had a lot of kids wanted to go to the bathroom.

We moved our desks to the side and had a fashion show to techno music. and listened to the "Wicked" sound track all day.

You need a blog makeover.

My cousin Elissa is an awesome graphic designer (graduated with a DEGREE in it :) and has a new business creating custom blogs. I haven't had her do mine yet but plan on it soon! If you are interested in having her makeover your blog, email her at elissagator@gmail.com for more information and pricing. You can also email her links to blogs you like, let her know colors that you'd prefer, include pictures you want to be included in the blog design, etc. She can do it all!!

Red Ribbon Week

So of course my students are writing in their journals and talking about drugs.

One of my favorite students comes up to me and shows me a picture she is drawing. It has a cigarette, beer bottle, and tobacco with a circle-slash over them.

Student: What are some other drugs that we don't know about that I could draw?

I didn't know how to respond.

Student: I just need one more to make it look good.

So after a bunch of illegal drugs flashed through my mind, like a syringe, a pill bottle, and a gasoline tank, I decided that a wine glass would be good.

Me: just draw a wine glass.

This moment totally cracked me up and made my day

$29

During school today, Pandora was playing on the screen of my computer and an advertisement to buy a new phone was on the screen. Students were going outside for recess and one hung back.

student: "Are you looking to buy a new phone?"
Me: "it's just the advertisement, I was playing music"
student: "Well if you are, I could get you $29 off a new phone"
Me: "For you or for me?"
student: "For you"
Me: "Is it some kind of coupon or something?"
student: "No, I just have $729 in my savings account so I could give you $29."

Highlights

I guess I am not really into blogging these days. Now that I don't spend my day in front of a computer for a job, it's one of the last things on my to do list when I have down time.

Recent highlights in my life are as follows:
Highlight #1 was Sunday. my niece Lexi turned four. We were at a party at her house in-between sessions of conference. Let me back up. Lexi doesn't talk. I try to get her to talk but all I get is a cute smile and maybe an answer provided by her older sister. But when she does talk, it's like heaven. She has the cutest little voice that makes your heart fill up with rainbows and gum drops.
So I was upstairs and the party was on the main floor. Lexi and a couple other random kids were up there with us. And out of no where, Lexi gave me a tour of the entire upstairs! She showed me her room, her closet, and even her favorite shoes: "Dees aw my favwit shoos! I weuw dem aw de time." (These are my favorite shoes, I wear them all the time.) She just talked and talked. It was like it was my birthday. (Lexi's on the right)



Highlight #2 was my dad's bday party on Monday night. The entire fam was on the main floor, enjoying my dad's favorite: spice cake with melt-in-your-mouth brown sugah frosting. A faint beeping could be heard amongst the noise of the kids and conversation. Then a pause. It was the fire alarm downstairs! Ah!
We quickly evacuated the children to the back deck outside whilst my parents and siblings slowly opened the door to the basement. The stairwell was filled with thick, gray smoke which spread to the area around us. Oh so that is why the smoke alarm went off. Gasp. Seconds past and we saw a figure emerging. My brother, Ethan, saving a child. Or what was that in his arms?
A fog machine.
Laughs were had and reactions of my parents relived.

(Just for the record: I was skeptical from the moment I saw that smoke. It didn't smell smokey!)

And highlight #3 was today.
I decided to give my fifth graders 5 minutes of extra recess. A couple girls were attempting round-offs in the field and I had the sudden urge to join them (rare occurance. Believe it or not, I rarely loosen up. The stress of teaching has practically stripped me of my personality:)
So I take off my keys and microphone necklaces and run, showing off my best round-off. Before I knew it, the whole class was lined up, showing off their [safe] tricks. It was just fun to play and have fun without planning or assessing it :)

So there you have it, a lil update. Now I'm going to read some blogs I haven't read in a month! yay!

drool, water, and Malawi

Everytime I hold a cup of water, I spill it.
Like at this delicious Malawi's pizza place last night
and at dinner tonight
and getting a drink generally. I just forget I'm holding it

And during sunday school because it was fast sunday, I was leaning on my hand thinking about food. And after a few minutes I was like "what the heck, why is my hand wet?"
I was drooling.

Let's see what else. Yeah you need to try out Malawi's. It's in the riverwoods mall. so good. For every meal you buy, they will send a healthy meal to the orphans in Malawi. So I deduct that from my tithing. jk.

I'm officially a teacher

Because in my teacher inbox, I got the following forwarded message with the subject: "Now THIS is a pencil sharpener" and these pictures when you scroll down

totally incredible.








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A teacher in the hallway just said "176 more days to go!"

But it was the best first day I've ever had!